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Finding What Grounds You

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What grounds you, what is home base in your mind? A place you can pause everything in life just for a moment and just be? Finding what grounds you adds so much to your life because you are refreshed and able to focus on what’s important with a clear mind.

As a society this concept is so obscure ! There are so many things going on in our home and social life we dont’ have time to take the time to be grounded. As a mom, we have little ones needing something from us at any given moment. So the thought of taking a moment to be grounded its almost hilariously ridiculous.

As a mom there are little ones that constantly need me for something. While I cherish my role as their mother, but I do find it hard to find the time to ground myself.

As a child I found it incredibly enjoyable to just hang out in the horse pasture . Interacting with each horse and then engaging in childhood play among them is a cherished child hood memory.

The first time I experienced time stop while among horses was when my Dad built a plywood barn (that literally looked like a shoe box with a door) for my pony to escape during the cold winter months. We filled the little barn with fresh straw. Molly’s short legs were lost in the cloud-like pile of straw that was engulfing her. My dad and I sat in there and watched her chew as she browsed through the fresh straw. I remember finding such peace in that moment . The air was crisp and cold, our breath was visible but it seemed as thought none of cared because time was stopped, we were in the moment and treasuring it.

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I find that when I am with horses time slows down and I am able to connect to myself. I am able enjoy the moment and soak in the peaceful demeanor of the horses.

Horses have a very unique ability to read people. They essentially mirror what they feel from us. This amazing ability has helped ground me so much, balance my emotions and make sense of why what I am doing is or is not working.

So it is no surprise how much I cherish and value my time with my horse, even if its just 5 minutes. As a mom it is so important to be connected and grounded in yourself. Without it life is just harder. Now, As much as I love horses not everyone has horses or some don’t even like horses – and that’s totally okay! We all have different things that ground us. I encourage you to take a moment and look for something that helps ground you,helps you to be in the moment and just “be”. Once you have found what grounds you I would love to hear about it! Comment or email me and lets talk about it!

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Finding Your True Value

A lesson I learned about a person’s true value by watching my daughter interact with horses.

If you know me you know I LOVE horses. I find their presence so comforting and their innate knowledge and capability of reading people fascinating. I grew up around horses and enjoyed the simple pleasures that they give. For me, when I am stressed or anxious I find it grounding to go out to the horse pasture and take a moment to relax and connect with The Maker. When I am with horses life slows down, the stressors of life fade for a moment, and I become grounded.

My daughter has inherited my love (maybe obsession ) with horses. She LOVES spending time in the horse pasture. She dances and prances in the horse pasture, going off on some childhood chatter about horses and her passion for them.

A little Hide-n-Seek in the hay bale!

Through the world’s view

Recently, we got two new horses,  mother, and daughter. The daughter, Dusty, was injured as a yearling by another horse, years later she has an obvious limp. Because of this injury, she is not rideable. Her previous owner told me that after the injury she’s didn’t know what she could ever be used for, some horses that are not rideable due to injury do not have a happy ending. Dusty, she has the sweetest demeanor, very affectionate and very curious. But what catches everyone’s eye first is her obvious lameness, making people’s perception of her go down. I have heard people describe her as worthless. It’s as if Dusty knows her sore shoulder is her focal point that lures people near, she then disengages from interaction when people asses her injured shoulder, as if she’s saying, “PLEASE! Just see me for me and not my flaw. I can be much more than a sore shoulder and obvious limp.”

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Through a child’s eyes

What I love most about children is their innocence, they see the world as more than a glass half full but bubbling over and flowing out around the glass.. They look at things for all that life is, not what it isn’t. Children tend to see the true beauty of things rather than the sometimes critical ways of adults .

When my daughter enters the pasture she sees Dusty for who she is, her authentic, pure, true value. She doesn’t notice the limp or how Dusty compensates for her sore shoulder. Dusty drawers closer as my daughter tells her how she’s the best horse ever, how much she loves her and how good she is . “Mommy, Dusty is so beautiful, she’s my favorite”.

Dusty follows my girl around, apparent that she values time with her because she doesn’t see what everyone else sees. My girl sees her for who she is. Dusty basks in this attention knowing that it is pure and wholly meant. Dusty enjoys spending time with My daughter as much as she loves engaging in childlike play and laughter.

Finding True Value

As I was standing in the pasture witnessing this interaction I was taken back. Our Creature sees us as flawless. He sees our worth, our true value beyond what people see. The devil wants us to believe that we are less than, he wants to lower our value. But the Creator of the earth and humans sees us as perfect. He is eager to engage with us and show us our true value, our worth. He sees us beyond our flaws and loves us unrelentingly.  Ahhh, how freeing is that?! We are loved and valued no matter how we feel or what people say. Our Creator says we are loved, special and absolutely treasured in his eyes. I love this verse,

“For the Lord your God is living among you.
    He is a mighty savior.

He will take delight in you with gladness.
    With his love, he will calm all your fears.

He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

Zephiniah 3:17 (NLT)

Watching my daughter and Dusty interact I am reminded of this verse. The LORD of love is living among us and delights in spending time with us. If we are anxious or insecure about our worth, He is with us to calm those fears. He longs to connect with you and me to show us our true value. Because in his eyes we are PRICELESS!

Thank-you for reading, I hope you found this devotional thought a blessing! If you did, please share!

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My Darling Child

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November 17, 2016, I peed on the stick. A few minutes later, there was the double line… positive. I was engulfed in emotions. The year had been a rough one with Brady being abruptly medically discharged from the Army, selling our house, living out of a suitcase for months and feeling misplaced. I walked out of the bathroom, crawled into the bed, and told Brady he was going to be a daddy again, that our darling child was on its way. He smiled the biggest smile I had seen in a while, given the stress we were under building our tiny house while he was, at the time, in EMT training.

On my birthday a few days later, we went on a date to celebrate my birthday and our happy news. I felt great the whole pregnancy, no morning sickness but craving carrots. We had planned a trip to Nebraska for the first week of December for my brother’s nursing school graduation. We were going to break the exciting news about the bun in the oven to both of our families.

After 10 hours of not-so-great airline travel, our little and growing family arrived in Nebraska to reunite with our extended family. That evening, at about 6 weeks gestation, my worst nightmare began; I started bleeding… a lot. The next day, December 8th, we lost our precious, darling child due to miscarriage.

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I struggled with grief, with sorrow, and with gut-wrenching emotional pain. I have never in my life felt so much sadness and heart break in the days, weeks, and months that followed. I was an emotional mess. I knew God was near, even though I couldn’t feel Him. I begged Him to give me back my baby. I longed just to hold and to see my baby; I’d give anything for just a moment. I didn’t really allow myself to outwardly grieve because I wanted to be strong for my daughter, she needed me.

Our due date would have been in the first week of August 2017. I avoided feeling anything, even though I wanted so badly for my baby to magically appear in my belly. I felt that I had missed out on experiencing another birth, to bringing another life into the world. I remember praying, “God help me, I need you to show yourself to me!”

At my daughter’s pleading one evening, I forced myself outside to play with her… and the Lord of Love met me there. I experienced the love of my Heavenly Father, and it was the first time in a long time that my heart awakened since that dreadful day.

That night, I was able to write this letter to my baby:

My darling child,

This is such a hard week for me. My belly should be big and filled with your busy little movements as we eagerly anticipate the day of your arrival. How I long to put my hands on my tummy and pat you gently as you move about. Even to feel your gentle thump of hiccups against my pelvis.
I sometimes day dream about how much hair you’d have, if you look like your sister or daddy.  I wonder if you would be a sleepy baby or very active.

Today, as I was picking wildflowers with your sister, I was filled with God’s peace as I gently plucked the flowers from the stem. It was there that God assured me that no matter what He will provide and take care of us, of me, this week. He assured me that I don’t have to pretend I’m okay, that I can cry, and that I can miss you. It was in that moment that the phrase, “the joy HE has set before us” came into my mind. The joy is Jesus coming to take us home, the joy of reuniting with you, holding you. My arms ache to hold you, feel you and look at your sweet face.

Baby, I’d do anything, anything at all to hold you just for a moment.
This isn’t goodbye, this isn’t I’m moving on. This is I love you, and I always, always will.

Love,
Your mama

No matter the gestational age, a loss is a loss – life is precious at any age. Heaven, Jesus’s return, got a lot more special to my family on December 8, 2016. If you’ve experienced such loss, whether you be a mama or a daddy, feel free to reach out and talk with us. You are not alone!

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Be strong and courageous!

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Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid of them! The Lord your God will go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor forsake you.
Deuteronomy 31:6

In my pre-college and college years, I would quietly enjoy reading Bible chapters for my devotional. When I became a mama, I found that my time was filled with the needs of my children (sound familiar?) and I found myself not able to read anything without several interruptions. I learned to treasure finding a passage and meditating on it throughout the day. I call them my power texts. I am so grateful for the quiet time I was able to have in my pre-mama life to highlight treasured verses in my Bible that nourish my soul. My Bible is literally glowing with highlights!

So about this verse!  Be strong. Wow, yes Lord, I NEED your strength to get through this day! Be courageous. There are so many times in the mama journey that we need the Lord’s strength to help us nurture and care for the precious babes He blessed us with. But courage, courage to stand up for your kiddos, courage to follow your instincts in a society that tells you to NOT listen to your instincts.  

Here’s the part of the verse that I love. The Lord your God will go AHEAD of you. Y’all. I don’t know about you, but motherhood can feel lonely. My husband is in nursing school which means a TON of time away from home, and homework when he is home. I have been feeling alone. But, I love this part of the verse because no matter what I face today, this week, month or year, God is going before me – I am not alone! He’s got my back, and not just in big issues but the little things. Day to day little things. He is with us – you and me. I love my relationship-seeking, ever-with me God!

Go forward in this day knowing that you are strong and courageous and you have the God of the universe at your side!

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